Ladies.. It’s Time to Get Your Bit@hes in the Damn Kitchen!
So this bit@h writes me an email the other day. She tells me how her friend introduced her to my masterpiece and went on to say how it would be a perfect gift for her boyfriend. “The bit@h just needs to get his butt in the damn kitchen! I am tired of hearing him whine that he doesn’t know how to cook, and he doesn’t have the time to cook” she said to me. Well, sweety. You are absolutely right. This is the perfect cookbook for guys who just don’t know what the hell they are doing when it comes to unloading their meat-juice-filled basters onto a nice hot piece of meat or butt of pork.
In fact, this is one of the reasons I wrote the damn thing. It’s for people that just don’t believe they can get in the kitchen and make a decent meal. I even went as far as to rate the meals so the dumbasses among us can attempt to create meals, and so those that are more experienced can expand their repertoire. I would say it is the perfect cookbook for guys, men, boys or any male in the species. Plus you get the added avantage of saying.. “Hey bit@h.. get your damn butt in the kitchen!” What more can you ask for.
5,000 BIT@HES are in the Kitchen!!
5,000 BIT@HES ARE IN THE KITCHEN
Edgy, humorous cookbook “Get in the Kitchen, BIT@HES!” sells 5,000 copies
CHICAGO, IL (Jan. 28) The hit movie “Julie and Julia” was a box office success, but more than 5,000 aspiring chefs were looking for an edgier motivation to get in the kitchen. Or maybe, they were simply looking for a one-of-a kind Valentine’s Day present. Since its release in August of 2008, Whipped & Beaten Culinary Works announced today it has sold more than 5,000 copies of its flagship cookbook, “Get in the Kitchen, BIT@HES!”
“I swear! My mother didn’t buy them all,” said Jason Bailin, author and President of WBCW Inc. “People are taking notice. Not only does the cookbook offer great recipes, but customers appreciate the humor. They are buying copies not only for themselves, but for the bit@hes they call friends as well. In November and December, we sold over 2,600 copies and the average order was two books per customer.”
Get in the Kitchen, BIT@HES! takes on a new and hilarious approach to the traditional cookbook. Entertaining the reader, rather than simply presenting recipes, Get in the Kitchen blends the humor of a small gift book with the functionality of a cookbook. Using sarcasm and comedy, the book ventures to help the reader create multi-course meals and understand what foods work well together. Three unique features are:
- Each recipe is accompanied by a “Sides and More” (S&M) section that shows the reader what appetizers, sides, and salads work well with the selected entrée.
- Each recipe is rated on a beginner friendly scale to show the reader which recipes would fit his skill level. The levels are labeled with an edgy and sarcastic description.
- Each recipe is followed by the “Words of Wisdom” section which explains to the reader why the recipe tastes good and goes beyond simple instruction.
In addition, chapters like “So, Too Damn Lazy to Start From Scratch, Huh?” will teach the reader how to use everyday packaged items to create amazing meals. Clever recipe names will have people saying to their partners, “Let’s make ‘Lick My Boots Lamb’ tonight’” or “How about we try ‘Miso Honee Stir Fry’ for dinner.”
“I was tired of all of the cookbooks written by cheerful, wholesome chefs who just make you want to smack them in the face with a frying pan.” said Bailin. “I wanted to come up with a new kind of cookbook that had some personality, some teeth to it. I knew if I succeeded, a person would actually enjoy reading it and not simply flip through it to find a certain recipe. And, if I say so myself, I did a bang-up job.”
In short, the book is poised to revolutionize the driving factors in the cookbook purchase decision. It asks: Who says cookbooks need to fit one mold? Just ask one of its fans:
“This cookbook was the funniest thing I have ever read, and the author is so handsome—and single too!” – Jason’s Mother
About Whipped & Beaten Culinary Works, Inc.
Whipped & Beaten Culinary Works, Inc. (http://www.bitchcooks.com) aims to revolutionize the traditional cookbook by introducing to the market, a series of humorous texts designed to be functional as well as entertaining. Whipped & Beaten Culinary Works, Inc. is based in Chicago, IL and was established in 2008.
It’s been a while bit@hes…
Haven’t had the time to spend on you bit@hes lately, pretty much because I just don’t care about you all that much. But had a few moments and so I thought I would grace you with a new entry. Things have been heating up here at Whipped & Beaten Culinary Works. Thanks to all of you bit@hes, we sold out our entire inventory during the Holiday Season. The new books are scheduled to arrive on January 29th and we are very excited to fill all the backorders that have come in. This year look for the bit@h on media outlets across the country as we are going to try to spend what precious time we have getting on air more.
In other news, my next book is due out in June. You will have to wait and see what the title is… it’s a surprise.. but I think you are going to like it. Lots more recipes and new and interesting creations. Wanted to thank you all for a great 2009! And am looking forward to what may come in 2010! Oh.. also, if you like what you see on this site.. tell your damn friends. Jeez bit@h, do I have to do every damn thing for you?
Talk soon, bit@h.. toodles.
Listen to this bit@hin’ interview!
The bit@h was recently interviewed by a popular morning show in the Midwest.. listen to it here!
How you like them APPLES, BIT@H?
Ok… for the first ever TOP BIT@H Contest.. the ingredient is….. APPLES!! So get your damn butt and mind in motion and start thinking of creative, delicious dishes to submit. Entry’s are required to be submitted by Sunday, October, 18, at 5PM (central time). The voting begins shortly thereafter. The rules are posted below.
Ok.. so here’s the deal bit@h. I will announce an ingredient on the new website and the facebook page. From the moment I announce the ingredient, you will have two days, until 5PM on Sunday to come up with something amazing (or at least try your damndest to make something edible). You must at least create a main dish using the ingredient. You will be judged only on a main course. During this two day affair, you will be encouraged to berate, degrade, and generally talk a lot of sh-t to your fellow contestants via the facebook page as well as the comments section on the website itself. Also, feel free to update us on your progress.
Once the two days are up, you will have to email me a picture of your creation, as well as a short description of what you have made. I will post each picture in an album on the Facebook site. Then the all important voting will begin. The voting will last for 48 hours from the time the pictures are posted. In order to vote for you, your friends, family, and those who pretty much just liked your dish will have to post comments under your picture in the Facebook album or on the the website blog page comment section. A comment for you equals 1 vote. The popular vote will count for 40% of the winner’s total score. The rest of the 60% will be judged by me, the original Top Bit@h! I will be judging you on creativity, perceived flavor and presentation.
The winner will receive a copy of the book as well as a $25 check, and the all-important title of “TOP BIT@H”. I will also post your picture on the site as well as the facebook page (with your permission of course).
Good Luck BIT@H!
The BIT@HES Are Talking….
Check out what some bloggers had to say about this masterpiece… You should believe everything they write, after all they published it on the internet…
http://www.thrillist.com/chicago/list-10
http://alborde.com/lifestyle/libros/13575-get-in-the-kitchen-bitches.html
http://blackwomanblogging.blogspot.com/2009/10/aint-no-yum-o-in-this-gd-cookbook.html
http://sit-onmyfacebook.blogspot.com/2010/01/kitchen-bitches-at-their-best.html?zx=f80c305156086303
http://allmintnohole.com/2010/03/05/get-in-the-kitchen-bithes-cookbook/
YOOOOOOUUUUUUU BIT@H!
You asked for it, and now you got it…. This is my brand-spanking new, and might I add, awesome…website. Take a look around, bit@h.
It is here that I will be updating all of you on my culinary journeys, giving you free recipes to try out from time to time, posting some hilarious videos and most important of all… berating your sorry a$$es. Spend some time checking out the new features, and take the damn time to post a comment or three to tell me how great it looks, and how much you want to be me. However, you must remember that I alone have final editorial power, so if I don’t like what you write…DELETE.
Also, coming very soon we will have a number of contestants competing in our very first “TOP BIT@H” contest. I will be giving them a bit@h of an ingredient, and they will be tasked with creating an amazing meal around it. I don’t really have too much faith in them, but it should be a hoot just to make fun of them as they try their hardest. So check back real soon!
Thats all for now.. you are dismissed.
